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PHILADELPHIA — Locally sword enthusiast, and painfully single man, Dan Gorman admits he ‘hasn’t quite cracked the code’ of online dating but remains optimistic, confirmed friends from various message boards.

“When I bought my first ninja stars at a flea market I never expected someday I would own multiple katanas and a replica of the braveheart sword. But even with all of this, no girl wants me to take care of them, to protect them,” said Gorman while admiring his collection of elongated blades. “Whenever I match with someone I ask if they want to meet up at a park and they seem enthusiastic, then when I offer to reenact scenes from my favorite Samurai movies they stop responding. I’ve sent multiple messages to customer support because I think there must be a glitch in my app.”

Angela Harvey who proclaims she loves nerds had this feedback on the heavily armed man’s profile.

“These were some of the most alarming profile photos I’ve ever seen. The swords are front and center and th